Here’s a bit of trivia for you. My first heartbreaking work of staggering genius was published in the phone book. And no, it wasn’t my name, address and phone number that brought the publishing world to its knees. For four fabulous years, I worked for Directory Plus in Colorado and my job was to proofread ad copy for nine different phone books throughout the Southwest. Perhaps you’ve heard of me?
No?
Yeah, I thought so. So anyway, my boss needed some filler material, so she allowed me to submit a short essay about the ickiness of cell phone usage in the bathroom. To show you how far I’ve developed as a writer since 2007, I am totally writing this post while sitting on the commode. Yep. Keeping it classy here on the old bloggity blog.
Anyway, everytime I see my name in print, I always think of Steve Martin in The Jerk.
“I'm somebody now! Millions of people look at this book every day! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity - your name in print - that makes people. I'm in print! Things are going to start happening to me now.”
Except now, people toss those phonebooks in to the recycling container because, well, it’s 2020 and google is a verb.
If only it was that easy to reach millions of people! I’m lucky if I reach twenty. And I’m grateful for each and every one of you. So, what’s new? This past week, an interview I did with Kate Cornell, author and host of Two Authors Talking, was posted on youtube. We talk about writing, favorite tropes and you can witness my resting bitch face in action, or should I say inaction?
I also made a spamtastic plea for my friends, frenemies and people I don’t even know to request my book from their local public library. I’m going to get really real with you right now. I didn’t get into writing about death and menopausal vampires because I saw a fat paycheck in my future. I did it because I love to tell stories and make people laugh. Yes, money would be lovely, especially since I basically just lost my contract job and i’m working part time at a public library, so here’s the deal. I would be ETERNALLY grateful if you GOOGLED the number of YOUR public library. Then take it one step further and call that number and REQUEST that they acquire Forever 51 for their patrons. Because to me, success is seeing my book in print on a shelf in a public library. Public libraries rock because everyone deserves access to information, especially if that information contains funny, bloody stories of menopausal vampires. Don’t believe me? Perhaps Grady Hendrix, NY Times best selling author of The Southern Book Club’s Guide to Slaying Vampires will…
Or perhaps Kirkus could inspire you. They do use some awfully colorful language in my review. Don’t believe me, click here.
Just a simple phone call that will take you less than five minutes could help change an author’s life. My life. And it doesn’t cost you a dime! Please and thank you for doing your part to spread the word before my pub date of 11/5/20! #Forever51
If you would like a free review copy of my book, it is up on Net Galley. All I ask is that you read and write an honest review of the book and then post it on Bookbub or Goodreads. Those early reviews are soooooo important for authors.
Last, but certainly not least, here’s my book trailer for Forever 51. My nephew, Egor, did the graphic design. My brother, Rob, did the music. And Lisaun Whittingham who narrated my first book Death Becomes Us, performed the voice over. It’s creepy, it’s quirky. Will you share it? Pretty please with a cherry on top?
One last thing before you go, if you pre-order Forever 51, send me a screenshot to thedeathwriter@gmail.com and I will enter your name into the drawing for the book club basket that I’m giving away on Halloween.
You know how to look things up on Spamazon. If you’d like to buy my book and help independent booksellers in the process, shop here.
Okay. I’m done. Thank you for reading all the way to the end and clicking on all the links and supporting someone who is kind of old to be having a “debut” novel come out two days after the presidential election.
In case you’ve never been told this before, I like you just the way you are!