Okay? Okay.

Yesterday was one of those rare perfect days that (for me) seems to come along maybe once in a decade.  I think the last one I experienced was in 1998 when I jumped out of a plane in the morning, ate the best cheeseburger of my life for lunch and then went to see a live performance by

Radiohead

that night.  I had also recently met the man that I would eventually marry, so everything was rose-colored and imparted with great meaning.

Before the jump.

Facing death and new love can make you really feel the importance of something as mundane as lunch. Did I really eat the best damn cheeseburger ever on that day in 1998? Probably not, but it sure felt that way.

So, what happened on June 6, 2014 that made it one of those rare days of note?  The day started off at

A-Kon

in Dallas.  My daughter is a huge anime fan, not to mention a kick ass artist. Would you just look at her mad drawing skills?

Did I mention she's 13?

She'd planned her outfit (I think the technical term is Cosplay) for months.  She was going to be Sasha from

Attack on Titan

.  She originally was going to attend with two of her friends from school, but it didn't turn out that way. One of these friends decided he had feelings for my daughter. When she informed him that she didn't want to "go out" with him, well, he didn't handle her rejection well.

Female friends couldn't believe she didn't jump at the opportunity to become this boy's girlfriend and they gave her a fair amount of flack for her decision.

But my daughter stood her ground.  For one, she's not allowed to date until high school and two, she didn't like this boy as anything more than a friend.  And she wanted to remain his friend, but no.  (Hey, teenage boys.  Watch

Pretty in Pink

.  See how boy/girl friendship is done.)

So, I took her.  She was in hog heaven.  People watching was splendid.  She felt at home among the throngs of costumed folks who share her love.  

But, and there's always a but...she spotted her two friends among the thousands of attendees.  I witnessed my lovely, good-hearted daughter run up to these two kids and then I watched them turn their heads, not even acknowledging her presence, and walk away from her.  It. Broke. My. Heart. And yes, I do have one. So, we talked about it and tried not to let those two kids ruin her whole experience. Rejection sucks.  I've been there.  We've all been there.  But it was the first time I'd witnessed it in the moment with someone I love.  I didn't like it very much.

Later that night, we went to see

The Fault in our Stars.

 One of the great things about having a teenage daughter (and yes, there are good things about it) is that I get to read YA books with her.  The bonus with this book is that it's about death.  And love.  And fear.  And what we leave behind when we're gone. 

We knew going in what we were in for; love, loss, and open weeping among strangers.  And we did it anyway.  Because that's what life is.  It's showing up with unbridled enthusiasm, even when you know how it's going to end.

LOVED THIS BOOK.  LOVED THIS MOVIE.  Check it out.  Bring kleenex and someone you love.

Have you seen the movie?  Been to A-Kon?  Eaten an earth shattering cheeseburger?  Had your heart broken?  Tell me about it.

Death over Dinner BBQ

This past weekend, I invited my "DOD" group over for some hotdogs, brats and the best damn potato salad I think I've ever had.  Thank you, Trayce, for your mad culinary skills! As usual, we ate, we caught up on regular "how's it going" stuff, and then we dove right into the game, "

My Gift of Grace

." It was our group's maiden voyage with this game and I was a good girl and didn't even peek at the cards beforehand to give me an edge.

Photo by James Felder

Here's the deal with this game.  Yes, there's technically a winner, but really everyone wins.  It's a conversation game.  Some people are exquisite at sharing and some people aren't.  I feel mighty lucky to have a group of friends that are all pretty good at sharing their thoughts and some are pretty freakin' funny as they do so.  I'm talking to you,

Tex.

One of the cards talked about organ donation.  This one brought up a great conversation.  One person was pretty darn sure that there was a cut off date for being a donor.  According to the

Mayo Clinic,

it turns out there is not a definitive age, it's just the condition of your organs.  Another person was on the organ donor fence.  She felt that maybe she wouldn't get the best possible care if a doctor knew she was an organ donor.  That's a valid fear and I'm going to let

Snopes

answer that.  One person said they could have everything but her skin.  So, in other words, I learned a lot from this conversation.  Not everyone thinks like me and that's cool. If you've followed this blog for awhile, you already know I'm an organ donor.  And you can too by registering

here

.

In addition to death type questions, there were some really surprising questions that had nothing to do with death, but kind of did.  "If you needed help going to the bathroom today, who is the first person you would ask to help you?  Who would you never be able to ask?"  The answers to this one surprised even me.

We had a good time as usual.  I've said it once and I'll say it again,

Death over Dinner

groups are the best way to become intimate with a group of people without having to pay a therapist or take your clothes off.

Have you started a group or played this game?  Tell me about it.

Everybody Dies: A Children's Book for Grown-Ups

I am super excited to welcome David Ury to my blog.  Last week I read a

post

about his soon to be released book,

Everybody Dies: A Children's Book for Grown-Ups, 

and thought it was brilliant.  I can't wait to pick up my copy later today!  So, who is David Ury?

Author, actor, and stand-up comic David Ury has a long history with death. While he is best known for getting crushed by an ATM as the character

Spooge

in AMC's "Breaking Bad," he has been shot, bitten, impaled, and stabbed to death countless times in American films and television programs. David's first acting role was in a high school production of "Riders to the Sea." He played the role of Bartley, an Irish fisherman who spent most of the play lying dead onstage, which made his mother cry. He has written nearly one hundred English language adaptations of foreign comics including "Me and the Devil Blues," which won a Glyph Award in 2009.

DW:  So, what made you want to write a book about death?

DU:  It has always seemed odd to me that death is such a taboo subject, especially considering that it's one of the few things in life that every single one of us will experience. It seems that sex and death are the great taboos....you can't talk about the creation of life and you can't talk about the end of it...but all that stuff in between is fair game. I, personally, am quite terrified of death. This book helps frightened grown ups like myself come to grips with the inevitable fate that awaits us all.

DW:  Have you had a lot of personal experience with death in your life?

DU:  I have certainly lost people close to me. There wasn't a particular loss that motivated this book.

DW:  What are your hopes for this book, besides domination on the NY Times bestseller list?

DU:  Domination of the Amazon Best sellers list and.... My ultimate goal in my work is always to create something that is funny but with an underlying poignancy so that the reaction is something like "Hah, that's funny....wait, what?"

If this book could start a conversation about death and how we approach it in Western Society I think that would be nice.

DW:  Why do you think our culture is so reluctant to talk about death? (From my own experience, I felt like I might somehow attract it into my life if I paid attention to it.)

DU:  I know what you mean about attracting death. Having made this book, I think all the time of the ironic death that could be waiting for me. I've had a bit of anxiety leading up to the release of this book just because it would be so fitting to die just as the book is being released....it would probably be great for sales....luckily my PR guy at Harper Collins isn't that extreme and hasn't really suggested that as an option for getting the book to take off.

I think death scares the crap out of us all. And in the modern Western world death is very sanitized. It's generally something that we only encounter at a hospital, or a funeral parlor. We don't see death in our everyday lives like people might have hundreds of years ago. I think that makes it easy to avoid the subject. Death is something that happens to other people.

DW:  I read that you have translated a ton of Manga books. Do you have any desire to write your own?

DU:  Yes, I think I've done about 150 graphic novels...which means about 30,000 translated pages. I would love to write my own manga.

DW:  Will you be doing any book signings?

DU:  Tuesday May 27th is the release date and I will be reading at

Book Soup

in West Hollywood at 7pm.

June 8th (Sunday 3pm) co-author/artist

Ken Tanaka

will be having a book release party at Pasadena Museum of California Art. His art exhibit will be up through the end of June. You can see some pages from the book on Ken Tanaka's

website

.

Thank you so much for answering my questions and good luck with the book!  You can check out

Everybody Dies: A Children's Book for Grown-Ups

here.

You can follow David on Twitter @isthisdavidury