H is for...


Psyche!  This post is totally not about the Hunger Games, even though the book (and yes even the movie) is all about DEATH.  Instead, I'm going to try my darndest to kind of incorporate the Hunger Games into a long drawn out metaphor about what it's like to be a writer.  

If you're a writer, you're used to sitting alone at your computer sharpening the weapons in your writer's toolbox.  Sometimes, you think you're getting pretty good at this writing thing.  At least that's what your Mom tells you, but she doesn't count. You're hungry to see if  your skills are really that stellar, so you venture out into the world to shoot a squirrel.  
Squirrel?

Wait a second.  I take that back. You don't kill a squirrel because that would be senseless and cruel, unless you plan on eating it and I don't know, squirrel meat just sounds kind of yucky.  Instead, you take your coffee stained, wrinkled pages to your trusty writer's group or you send your manuscript to a trusted friend to see what they think about your supposedly mad writing skills.

There is a long pause.  Sometimes it starts out with a vague "that was interesting" comment and then you hear the dreaded words that no writer ever wants to hear, "Primrose Everdeen!"  I mean, "BUT."  And there's always a but.  Why?  Because writing is subjective.  Some people think the Twilight books are the cat's pajamas and I think they're...well, um, uniquely different, but that's another story.

Okay, so let's say there's is a reaping and you volunteer your story because your younger sister's story is kind of weak. And you meet Lenny Kravitz, I mean this cool person that you really like and she gives you a writer's hat and convinces you that you're going to nail this one and be victorious in this game.  So you submit.

After hitting send, you run off into the forest to get as far away from the other writers as you can and you wait.  And wait.  And wait some more.  And just when you're about to give up, a balloon drops from the sky and says, "Congratulations.  We have whittled down all the entries to the top forty and yours is one of them.  We'll let you know soon. Thanks for your patience."

So for the first time in a long time you've got hope and hope is good. But then you realize you're going to have to kill Peeta to be the victor in this game of publication.  And who wants to kill Peeta?  

I certainly don't want to kill Peeta.  

But it's all for naught because you get rejected from this book, so you contemplate eating some poison berries for like a second and then you realize you don't have to do anything that rash because you and Peeta can both win.


So what's the moral of this story?  There are several. You can't win if you don't play the game.  Don't kill the people who help you along the way.  In fact, prop them up and support them in any way you can. And whatever you do, don't give up.  This writing game is a bitch, but lucky for us, there can be more than one victor.  Even luckier, it's not televised.

Today is National No Diet Day! And now for something completely different...

Yes, boys and girls, this blog is about death.  Why?  Because I'm writing a book about it and I'm trying to build my media platform.  But, I also want to write in support of fellow writers that I like and that you should like too.  And that brings me to Kim.

“Every weight loss program, no matter how positively it’s packaged, whispers to you that you’re not right.  You’re not good enough.  You’re unacceptable  and you need to be fixed.”  Kim Brittingham

     I don’t know if it’s because I came of age in the consumer excess of the eighties, or if it’s just a byproduct of being born female, but as a result of one or maybe both of these conditions, I used to believe in the possibility of magical transformation through acquisition of something that existed outside of myself.  For example, in the sixth grade, I felt that owning a pair of leather Nike tennis shoes with a blue swoosh on the side would make me happier.  I begged and I pleaded with my single mother, insisting against her resistance that my happiness was dependent on possessing a pair of $50 shoes.  Everyone else had them, so why can’t I? 
     Well, for one, we were broke.  So I scrimped and I saved and I bought the dang shoes.  I wore them every day until my big toes eventually pushed their way out of the top of the well worn leather.  Despite the fact that they adorned my feet in every waking hour of my adolescent life, I didn’t feel any different.  So now what?  Well, I’ll tell you. The search began for the next perfect thing to make me feel different, better and/or happier.  Since overpriced tennis shoes didn’t do the trick right out of the starting gate, the next most obvious choice for my 1982 suburbia dwelling self were designer jeans.  There were so many to choose from—Sasson, Jordache, Calvin Klein, Gloria Vanderbilt.  I tried them all and nothing made me feel any better.  Then it was purses and shoes and sweaters—Oh, MY!  Finally, it became hair care products—I felt that the perfect shampoo/conditioner combo would tame my frizzy hair and solve all the kinks of my crooked life.  Wrong.
     What this long winded intro brings me to is a new book by Kim Brittingham called, “Read My Hips:  How I Learned to Love My Body, Ditch Dieting and Live Large.”  Before I go further, I must be honest—I know Kim and consider her a friend.  So, the conspiracy theorists out there are probably saying, “Well of course you are going to like her book.”  Obviously, you don’t know me.  I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it if it wasn’t good.  And it is good.  This collection of essays will make you laugh, some will make you cry—Fat Aunt Phyllis—and others just might make you want to throw away your skinny jeans.  (You know the pair.  The perfectly faded Levi’s from 96 that will never, ever go over your hips again because you’ve had two children and you like ice cream and Nutella way too much.)
     The essays in this collection are about Kim’s journey to acceptance.  Of herself.  Just the way she is.  And although I’m a size 10 and have been since high school, this book was still relatable to me.  I’ve known since youth that I didn’t fit the mold in our society.  I was tall, pasty white and frizzy haired.  In other words, I was wrong.  Since women in our society are lead to believe that they have to go through some sort of outside physical transformation to achieve an inner happiness, Kim points out through the essays in her book that it isn’t losing weight that is going to bring about the new you—that my dear, resides already within you.  It’s a choice.  But, it isn’t a self help book.  It’s one woman’s kick ass journey that is filled with charming wit and beautiful prose.
     Through the years, I’ve watched Kim on her journey to publication.  I hope that the irony of this situation of acquisition of that something outside of ourselves isn’t lost on Kim with the publication of this book.  Because, the minute she decided to be a writer, she was—published or not.  And I’m so proud of her. 
You too can buy a copy of Kim’s fantabulous book at any brick and mortar book seller or simply get it here

Read My Hips