Well, it’s for a lot of things, actually.  There were three reasons I ventured into an exploration of death and much to my surprise and AMAZEMENT, they all start with the letter A.

It was an ACCIDENT.

I was in my first semester of graduate school at Goucher College trying to figure out my thesis topic.  I was sitting at home waiting for my mentor, Diana Hume George, to call my house.  As the tock clicked past our meeting time, I became anxious and called her number instead. (I’m not known for my patience.)

A funeral home answered.  I hung up.  I checked the number. I called again.  The same funeral home answered.  And the rest is history.

ANXIETY

Maybe it’s because I suffered through most of my life with ridiculous social anxiety that death and its natural aftermath, grief, seemed particularly scary. In the past, if your mother died, I would run from you.  Not because I didn’t like or care for you, but because I didn’t know what to say or how to act and it made me feel incredibly uncomfortable.  I learned that I’m not alone.  Death is scary, but next to birth, it’s the most natural part of life.

ANTICIPATORY GRIEF

At the beginning of this project, I was approaching 40, and I’d only lost a grandmother when I was a kid.  I feared that the latter part of my life was going to be filled with death and sadness.  Yes, both wait for me, but now I feel much better for facing my fear instead of pretending that the proverbial pink elephant doesn’t exist.

And it all lead to a BLOG and a BOOK, but more about that later…